So we head to the city today for the scan and IUI. Well… only one of those things happened.
Much to my disappointment the iui was a no go. But here is where it gets really fun (not). On the way down I tell M that I would be surprised if it wasn’t my right side ovulating as for the last 3 days I have had cramps on that side only. This regularly happens to me, I can tell which side is ovulating. So we go back and she inserts the ultrasound thing and checks out my lining. Perfect! She said she saw the triple line and that it was nice and thick – just where we would want it for ovulation time. Then she looks at my right ovary. Nothing. NOTHING! She said it is very quiet and there is nothing there. There is also no remnants of recent ovulation there. She slides over to my left side – several small little guys who are no where near proper size. So she says to me and M – we wont be thawing any sperm today.
Then it gets even better. She keeps on looking on the screen and shows me those small little dumb follicles. She said there were many follicles that were just too small. She says this is common in people with PC and that we will need to start clomid next cycle. I then said “I heard you say PC. Do you think that I have PCOS?”. She says “Yes I think so, a very mild case of it”.
Cut to me in complete shock. My results all came back good and normal and now I have a syndrome?
I think more then anything I am frustrated. Why is this proving so difficult. I understand that M had difficulty with no explanation. But do I really need to have difficulty to? Why would my blood come back normal if I have this? I even got a freaking discount on my life insurance because my blood checked out better then expected for someone of the old age of 29.
Also, what is typical with PCOS? Do you get a “diagnosis”? My understanding is that the reason she said that is because of the amount of follicles. I probably saw 6 or 7 on the ultrasound. Do I need to have more symptoms? Should I be seeing a Doctor? Does mild mean not really there? Ahh.
Here is what has become clear to me so far. PCOS makes it harder to get pregnant.
I know there are a lot worse things that can happen and normally I try to be very thankful for what I have, but I really just feel like crying now.
Here is an added bonus. She said that the fact that I got smiley ovulation tests with no giant follicle about to ovulate proves that I will need blood monitoring and ultrasound scans. With my history of fainting and puking during blood withdrawal I was overcome with happiness hearing that. I might even have to drive in to the city at 5:00am to get this blood done in order to be back at work for 8:00! Hey is fainting a symptom of PCOS? What about TMJ because I have that too! This puts a double kink in it because they wont let me drive after taking blood so M will get to miss some of her work too! Double negative in the finance department. When M had to do it they made her come in ever second day and then every day. How in the world can I miss that much work as a teacher?
And this is all in preparation for the first IUI. We all know that chances of that are slim. So how many tries will I have to do this for? Why can’t we just get pregnant magically?
Okay my bitterness/sarcasm has reached its limit.
So I will state something I am thankful for. I am thankful that we did not waste the 1,000 dollars on an IUI that would never have worked anyways. That is all the positive I can be right now.