I still hadn’t heard back from my RE so I placed a call into her booking secretary in the morning. At dinner time my phone rang and it was the Dr. herself. She said that she got my test results and they looked find. The HSG came back all clear and normal and my blood work was normal. She then said that even though it was normal my LH level seemed a bit high which could explain my irregular cycles. (FYI – I normally ovulate around day 20 and its about a 33-35 day cycle. A couple times during stressful times- ex. M’s IVF I have missed a period and gone for 78 days) She said that the clomid would take care of that and shorten my cycle. SAY WHAT???? I said “okay” and she kept talking. After a minute I clued in and said “So uhh I will be taking clomid?” and she said something about donor sperm being very precious so we will go straight to clomid.
To be honest I am not sure how I feel about this. I liked the idea of trying things naturally (without meds) and this would having me skipping right to clomid. I also have an irrational fear that I will not be able to get pregnant and ruin the chance for us to have a family. I think that I should trust the RE but it is also my body. She is right that I don’t ovulate perfectly so maybe this will help.
I also know that we have used a LOT, a really really LOT of money on fertility treatments and have such a high debt that trying 3 or 4 times before using medication could be costly. IUI’s cost us 1,000 dollars a pop.
The good news is that I am ovulating right now so we wont have to make these decisions for at least a couple more weeks. I like to research the F**k out of everything fertility and I haven’t done that yet. I have a feeling we will just get the clomid and give it a try.
My real concern is if I don’t successfully get pregnant within a few tries. I am slightly panicked that this is our last chance. At least if we were starting naturally with no help I could keep the idea of clomid in my back pocket. I am so ridiculously worried that this wont work out for us that I haven’t even thought of the side effect of multiples. Did I mention that my grandma was a fraternal twin, and she also has fraternal twin brothers. Hmm…