I have been a nervous slacker

It has been a while since I updated. Over a month. I think about updating all the time, but then this little superstitious voice is all “don’t count your chicks before they hatch”. I know this is ridiculous. This is going to be long…

So here is what has happened in the last month. We had our 7.5 week ultrasound on February 26th and all looked well.

Between the end of February and middle of March not much happened besides feeling pretty crappy and being confused how a baby could be growing and I don’t feel anything in the baby area. Aside from a few pinches/pulls it was pretty much just the rest of my body and head that felt weird. I told M that if I did not know I was pregnant I will like something was seriously wrong with me. My body felt like… it was taken over. Not so much poisoned but just not wonderful. I hear this is normal though.

My school has a two week Spring break at the end of March so in early March I was looking out my window at the constant grey rain and told M “I am not going to stay home for 2 weeks feeling crappy while you go to work. Lets go to your parents in Phoenix”. She agreed, flights were booked, and we thought we had perfect timing as her moms birthday fell on our trip and we could tell her about our surprise.

During the first week of Spring Break I got all my bloodwork completed minus the genetic testing as the paper for that was mixed up.

My parents watched our pups while we jet setted and we decided it was only proper to tell them about the baby before we flew across the country to tell M’s family. My mom was really confused at first as she had no idea but soon became really excited. She even called me later that evening and all she could say is “I”m Flabbergasted”. Too funny.

I had asked my midwife if there was anyway she could squeeze me in for a quick doppler test before we flew across the country to announce our pregnancy. She was so kind and said yes and we got a baby heartbeat reading of 155. She said that she could feel my uterus and that was a good sign. I then realized that that was what that weird bump was. Ha!

We then flew to Phoenix to enjoy the sunshine and it was beautiful there. M told her mom by making her a Grandkids wooden board that had each grandchild in order of birth hanging down with our ultrasound at the end. She was happy, we were happy and it all went well. Our newphews were a bit confused but they know they will be getting a new cousin in October.

The vacation is going great and I get a call from my Doctor while I am in the States. He tells me there is a concern with my TSH as it is extremely low and I am hyperthyroid. He says he wants me to go see a Dr. In the U.S. to take my blood pressure and pulse to make sure I am not above a 120 pulse. Cut to me panicking – really how could I not. I get back to my in-laws and see an email from my Midwives telling me to see my Doctor A.S.A.P. Oh great. So I ask my Doctor if I could just go to one of those machines at the pharmacy and he said yes, and to call back if my pulse is over 120.

I go to the pharmacy – okay 5 pharmacies over the next 2 days and my blood pressure is a bit higher then normal for me as well as my pulse. However they are still in the regular range and my pulse is sitting between 92-100. My Doctor schedules me in to see him the Monday after I get back from the trip and I resume my escalated fear.

We fly home Friday morning. We were not ready to leave. We had done a lot of running around and M had painted her moms house but we didn’t have that one day to sit in the sun and relax. We looked at flying home Saturday instead but all the flights were booked. We sadly went to the airport the next morning. M went to go get some breakfast and I sat with our bags when they announced the flight was overbooked! They needed some wonderful volunteers to take a later flight home. I volunteered and asked if that later flight could be tomorrow instead. They said yes and we were first on the list to be off the plane. As everyone else boarded we stayed behind and success! We got first class tickets for the Saturday flight and called M’s mom to pick us up at the airport. It was wonderful! And as an added bonus we got a $450 flight voucher each. Hello free Christmas flight!

We get home and I go the Doctor after work on Monday. He takes my blood pressure and pulse and checks for tremors in my hands. He refers me to an endocrinologist to decide our game plan for the pregnancy.

On Tuesday we go to our Midwife appointment for our 12 week check up. Everything checks out good and she says that babies heartbeat is strong but took the doppler off before she got a reading. She went really fast. She said it was between 150 and 160 and good. So that put us at ease a bit.

On Thursday we drove to the city for my endocrinologist appointment. Here are some of the things she said.
- I am hyperthyroid
- She does not recommend getting pregnant with my condition
- Because I am pregnant I cannot complete the test (Radioactive iodine) to try to diagnose why I am hyperthyroid as it would cross the placenta
- My levels are not good for regular people
- For people with Hyperthyroid and pregnancy my levels are where they aim for people to get with medication
- I will need monitoring to decide if and when I start the meds
- miscarriage rates are higher then normal but not quite doubled
- She is impressed me made it to 13 weeks

I asked her if she thought it was safe for us to tell people at 13 weeks and she said well you could always wait a couple more weeks. M thinks she more meant that no one would know so we don’t have to tell. ARGH! My midwife on Tuesday said – you are looking great – tell people!

Here is what I know from my pre fertility bloodwork. My TSH was the exact same low low level so that has not changed through pregnancy. My T4 and T3 were not tested then so I do not know the levels of those. I was able to conceive and carry a baby 13 weeks with that low level so why should I panic that it will end now. It is not as if this is a brand new thing my body is dealing with.

So last night we told my grandma and my aunt as she was at my grandmas when we arrived. My aunt cried. It was cute. We purposely told my grandma when my grandpa was in the other room as we didn’t know how he would respond. He did not come to our wedding but he did come to the small reception after. He is kind but old fashioned and really doing the best he can. We live in the same town and visit often and he treats M with complete respect. I just want to leave the explaining to my grandma.

So here we are at 13 weeks 1 day and feeling excited and nervous. I am a bit bummed this Hyperthyroid shit had to come and ruin a bit of our happiness. I am choosing to stay positive and excited for this October arrival. Yesterday the hospital called me and booked me into my genetic scan ultrasound for May 20th. They said – you can find out gender then if you want. WHAT! Already! next month! Wow!

So we are riding this roller coaster and believing we will have a happy ending with a healthy baby in October!

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First ultrasound

Today is 7weeks 5 days since my IUI. We had our first midwife appointment yesterday (you have to get in early or you are out of luck in our small town). It was really just to chat about what a midwife does and answer any of our questions.

Today was our first ultrasound at our fertility clinic with our wonderful fertility doctor. I was so nervous I was shaking. Lately I have been feeling a lot crappier – like an all day mild hangover or the end of flu that won’t leave. So I was trying to tell myself it was all good. I still had major concerns. I’m not sure if I was concerned about the fever I had or if it was more that after 3 years of trying I couldn’t believe it could possibly be true.

Our doctor came to get us in the waiting room before our 9am appointment and took us to the ultrasound room. It was a go inside ultrasound not a tummy ultrasound which I knew about and was prepared for. Same as all my follicle scans. She put the wand it and I couldn’t even look. I started reading a note on the wall over and over until she said “this looks very good” or I think that’s what she said. It’s a blur from my nervousness. M listened much better then me.
This is what I do remember
- heartbeat was very strong at 159 (her words)
- measuring perfect for my schedule – which is 1 day behind IUI which makes sense as ovulation occurred after IUI
- it looks completely normal and perfect
- I have been released to my midwife unless an emergency situation comes up
- my body feels lighter now as the stress has lifted. I know we are not in the clear but hearing a heartbeat and getting little blob/cocoon pictures feels good. :)

Next appointment in end of March with my midwife. Only thing between then and now is bloodwork bloodwork bloodwork!

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Waiting Game

After I updated last I continued to get more and more sick. I ended up having to go to the ER and have the doctor on call check my fever. He told me I had to keep it below 38.5 and if I got that high to try to control it with all my options (cold compress, tylenol, lukewarm showers, getting my hair wet) before I came back. He also told me if I could not get it down he would have to put something up my bum (HUGE MOTIVATION). So we went home and my fever continued. :(

It only got over 38.5 once and after I found that out I got it down within 20 minutes. So I was and am a bit panicked. I don’t have a doctor yet as my first midwife appointment is not scheduled until next week. I emailed my RE and she said that a fever would not hurt my baby and that I should keep on top of the tylenol. I so did not want to be taking any meds and I wouldn’t if it was just a cold but the fever was not good.

After I went to the hospital I came home and I ended up throwing up. This is when I realised I was probably dealing with a flu and not just a cold. I threw up again 8 hours later and then never again. That morning my fever broke and while I was running at about 99 degrees I didn’t find that too unusual as ever since I found out I was pregnant I have been running a bit high.

I went to my family Dr and told her that I was 5 weeks pregnant and I had a fever and I wanted to make sure I didn’t have anything else (pneumonia) as I had a very heavy cough (and still do!). She said she has never heard of a miscarriage from the flu and while it is not an ideal environment to have a baby in, she thinks there is no concern.

I then put in an email to my midwife and she wrote back that because the babies placenta was not developed yet that I should not be concerned. Don’t these professionals know that google says it is very bad to have a fever between weeks 4-6????

All I know is that I am doing all I can and taking my vitamins and resting and I am very hopeful that all will be well. Well, I am being a bit of a spaz and M has to tell me about 3 times a day that baby is fine.

Here are the positives – my boobs got SUPER sore after the fever for a few days, and now they are sore but just not super sore, I still have minor cramps, I still keep burping and quite often I am waking up with a “Hangover” that doesn’t go away until I eat breakfast and comes back throughout the day.

I am trying to stay positive but I am still worried. I have my first appointment/ultrasound in just over a week. I am 6 weeks 4 days today. Please please please let it be healthy.

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Feeling Worried

I caught a cold. A regular sore through, coughy, sore neck and back, stuffy head cold. Last night I figure I should probably take my temperature to make sure it is not high. It was 100.9. Instant panic. I called our province nurse line and after 30 minutes we decided that I could take tylenol to bring down the temperature as it was safe and it is more important that the baby has a good temperature then it doesn’t have any tylenol. It seemed to go down a bit but was still around 100.1 into the night. Throughout the night it went to about 99.5 and this morning it is fluctuating between 99.2 and 99.9.

The nurse line said to go to a Dr. in the morning but because it is a long weekend that will mean walk in clinic and I really don’t want to be exposed to all those germs. I called my fertility clinic nurses line and she said to keep taking tylenol and if it doesn’t go away in a couple days to go see a Dr. (tomorrow).

I am so nervous I am doing this baby harm :( I want nothing more then to provide the healthiest environment for our little bud.

Any tips or advice? Did this happen to any of you? I made the huge mistake of googling and everything talks about 5 weeks danger. Before or after is fine but at 5 weeks is worst. OH GREAT! Ahh..

oh and also,
I just took my temperature. One side of my tongue is 99.1 and the other is 99.8 What the heck?
Should I be freaking out?

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Beta test

After my last beta at 14DPO the nurse said that I did not need another beta but that I could get one if I would like to. She said that if it gives me peace of mind to do it. Well I thought that maybe I would not do it as I really am not a needle fan. Well I noticed last night that boobs didn’t really feel sore anymore, this morning they didn’t feel sore at all. I felt sick to my stomach but I was thinking it was just nerves.

So I went there this morning at 7:30 as the clinic opens at 8:00. My school starts at 8:48 and it was about an 8 minute drive away. I calculated the latest I could safely stay was 8:30. I texted my teacher friend who teaches music and does not have a class until 9:00 and she said she would spot me if I was going to be a few minutes late. She is wonderful. And knows how fun blood tests are to schedule in our small town. So I get my number and I am 7. Yikes. I debated leaving but stuck it out.

I go into the room and it is a lady I have no seen before. I tell her I need to lay down and we get started. She starts looking at both arms and does not seem impressed. I’ve never been stuck more then once until today. She dug in my left arm 4 times before switching to my right hand. It hurt a lot more then usual and she told me she was sorry as she knows missing hurts a lot more. I know that she also dug around a bit in one of the spots and I have a decent bruise. Anywho… I felt more sorry for her then me. That must have been a shitty way to start the day – apologizing over and over. We finally found it on the other arm and then it was over.

Due to 2 people ahead of me not having the proper paperwork I got to get in and out before 8:20. Thankful for that. As the day went on I started to feel more and more crappy. A bit shaky from the bloodwork and a bit nervous about the results which made me feel sick. There were no results in yet by lunch time (killing me) and after lunch I took my class on a field trip. I brought my phone with me not to talk on but to check for a notification for voicemail – well and for safety reasons. I get to the destination after my class walks there and I go to check my phone – completely dead. UGH! Turns out it was so cold outside it killed my phone.

I got back to school and at the end of the day I put my frozen phone against my skin tucked under my shirt and into my pants. Desperate times call for desperate measures people. Finally it warms up and I see I have 3 voice mails from the clinic. Uh oh my heart started to race . I listened to the first one – it says no results yet. The second one says your results are in and they are all good – stop worrying! – that was our favourite nurse haha, and the third one said that my beta level at 18DPO was 1767. They said this was right and track and we are looking good. Instant relief! About 30 minutes after this news I could actually eat food again.

I know stress is not good and when I start to worry I calm myself down but sometimes I can’t help it and I worry. I am a worrier.

So as of now we are looking pregnant!

14DPO 345
18DPO 1767
doubling time of 40.75 hours

I will not be getting anymore blood work unless there is a problem. Next appt will be ultrasound on Feb 26th!

Still does not feel real yet though.

note – I normally do not have such bad grammar but on the ipad I give up on editing. Sorry!

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15 DPO

Here is the latest update

I am currently 15 DPO.

After I wrote my last post I called my fertility clinic and asked our favourite nurse if I should be going in for an HCG test before Tuesday. She said yes as she was interested and send me the requisition via email right away. I was at school for a PRO -D day so I could not leave and go get the test done until lunch. I had to get M to come pick me up at noon and drive me (re history of fainting) and we didn’t have to wait too long. I was back at work around 12:30. The nurse who took my blood said that they process the results in house and my Dr. should have my results within 1 hour. WHAT? Shit just got real. I sent my nurse a message on the portal as she asked me to let her know when I got my blood taken. She said she kept looking but it never showed up. The office closed at 4:00 and at 3:51 there were still no results in. She said I would have to wait until tomorrow to see if they came in. Talk about playing the waiting game.

Last month I refused to get my blood taken or take a pregnancy test as I was far too wimpy. This month with all my acupuncture and physio and chiro appointments I kinda wanted to know the results sooner to cater my treatments. So I took the plunge and got the blood taken.

The nurse called back at 3:59 – no kidding. She said she had the results. Ahhh – so scary. This time no need for tears though. My beta came back at 345 at 14DPO. She said it was a bit higher then she would have expected but that I did not need to get a second beta test, just an ultrasound at 8 weeks.

We are being cautiously optimistic and balancing getting really excited and being realistic. But as of right now there is a poppy seed baby in my belly!

Some of my symptoms include
- sore sore lower back
- pressure cramps in belly
- M is forcing me to write this – burping a lot
- a more then usually cuddly dog (not sure if this is related but I noticed about a week ago she was cuddling up to me a bit more then usual)
- fever like feeling that comes in waves
- slight light headed or dizziness
- side ache/stitch
- upset tummy

After I hung up with the nurse I went on with my day and then an hour later another nurse called me. Cue the loud heart beat – Oh god, did they mix me up with someone. Nope, she just didn’t know our favourite nurse had snuck the results and called me. She scheduled me in for an ultrasound on February 28th. She said my number looked good but a bit high and that could mean two. I only had one follicle so I am thinking the chances of that are slim. I am hoping that the high number does not mean anything else.

We are staying positive and putting out all positive thoughts into the universe. We have been trying for more then 2 years and are so excited that we have gotten this far finally! Please please keep growing little one.

If anyone cares here is how my testing went down. On Thursday after work I took a OPK kinda for fun. It came up with a smiley face which I knew could be a good sign. Then we went to the dollar store to get a whole wack of them. The first one I thought was negative so If you can’t read my writing the top test was done at 13DPO 6:00 pm after holding my urine for 45 minutes. The line showed up after a minute or so but was quite faint. The second test was at 9:00 pm that night after holding my urine for 3 hours. The third test was yesterday morning with FMU at 6am – 14 DPO and the next one I took when they didn’t call me back after the blood test so it was 14DPO at 3pm. And finally after the beta I told M I wanted to splurge and get a digital one and I took this this morning at 4:00 am at 15DPO.

These are my crazy tests.

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The waiting game.

Okay. So I have a confession. I have been avoiding blogging because I am nervous it will jinx our chances. Last night I concluded this was ridiculous but was too tired to update. Here is an update on last months happenings so far.

Sunday January 11 – went to my fertility clinic for an ultrasound. They saw two equal sized follicles at about 15 and a bunch of smaller ones. 2 big ones both on the right side.

Tuesday January 14 – went for my first acupuncture appointment. I like this lady. She said to come back after IUI.

Thursday January 16th – went to fertility clinic for ultrasound and bloodwork. I only had one measurable follicle (weird) and it was HUGE. 25 already at 14 days into my cycle. They said it was very strange it did not release yet and I reminded them that I don’t seem to ovulate on my own. Got the trigger at 9:30 am by a nurse and I was off back down the highway to get back to work. IUI scheduled for next day at 3:00. I requested this time as I really feel that 36 hours passed trigger is ideal and last month at 24 hours passed made me rethink my chances. I did not feel good about timing last month and did not want to go through it again. So this month at about 30 hours passed felt better for me.

Friday January 17th – exactly one month after last IUI- had this IUI. Less pain this time and it was pretty easy! Sperm count was good and after about 10 minutes we were on out way. I felt some pain at about 9:30 pm which felt like ovulation. That puts me at 36 hours passed trigger and 6 hours or so passed IUI. Woohoo still hope!

Sunday January 19th – went back to acupuncture and relaxed there. She told me to not eat anything cold and to not drink cold water or drinks. She said to drink lots of warm tea and eat soups and stews. No salads or raw veggies. And no dairy. This was not too hard for me as I am not a milk drinker and I just switched from my regular smoothies to porridge for breakfast.

Sunday January 26th -acupuncture again all good – except for when she put a couple new needles in my toes. That did not feel great.
Tuesday Jan 28th – acupuncture again – I am getting better at it, really relaxing and breathing from my belly like she tells me to .

I still – 15 days passed trigger -have a huge bruise on my tummy. The red welt lasted about 6 days then turned to a bruise. Ouch!

So today is 14 days passed IUI and ovulation. My blood work is not scheduled until Monday but my clinic in town is closed Mondays so it would have to wait until Tuesday. What to do, what to do. I may call the nurses and ask them to send me a requisition for today or tomorrow but I also might keep living in 2WW land. I also don’t want to wait until Tuesday and get bad news while at work.

Here are some symptoms I am having.
Cramps
Sore knee (which i get before period )
light headache off and on
side aches as of late. Like from childhood when you ran in soccer too long and took a huge drink of water. You American’s call it a stitch.
no sore boobies though
last night I felt I had a high temperature but after a couple hours I felt normal again

The thing is – these signs could mean anything or nothing. The life of a neurotic 2wwaiter. Google has made a killing off me these last 2 weeks. Really who can just relax and not obsess? Unless I was on a beach in Mexico, I’m with google.

So I am crossing my fingers and sending positive thoughts out into the Universe. Come on 2014 – we got this!

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